Okay, Now I'm Scared

 

I want to cry every time I'm near you,

from the rush of entangled emotions that

don't self identify.

There is shaky ground below my feet

-oh wait, it's just my trembling legs because

stability surrendered itself.

Self confidence has run away

and I feel like crying every time I see you,

because I dwell on the past

and wish I felt like fucking

around with several people I don't know

just to feel better.

Once upon a time, our lives

intertwined

and curled like vines

when they grow happily.

It is now the luck of a drawing

to even bring us in the same room.

I'm struggling to impress you with 

something every second

and allowing space for you to rant 

about whatever is on your mind

and needs to exit,

and stowing myself away to hide from 

invisible shame.

Peering at you under Himalayan salt lamp light

only stirs up wishes of having your company

into the night and next morning

to meander about with morning breath and coffee.

I'm tired of pretending that crying isn't 

an activity that I do all the time now

from yearning for your time,

energy, body, smell, taste, skin.

I wish that you didn't scare me with the grasp

you have around me.

~Tina Meeks

What You Do

 

You terrorize my body with movement.

We kiss in silent where no one can

judge the present based on past.

You are campfire smoke in my lungs,

on my clothes; entangled

with the fabrics that I hesitate to toss 

in the wash.

If I ever lost the scent of you,

I'd be losing sight of

what dancing pleasure looks like.

You echo in me.

I still hear your voice when

I'm alone and spark up an old flame.

I recognize the sadness in an attempt to make it 

through a day to not fall apart.

The sex in heavy breathing after

kissing your neck.

I know the silly tones when

your heart is light.

And I wait for a calm when speaking

through sleepiness.

What can I offer you but to read between my lines

so you know that this is all you.

"You" is not just a word to indicate

another human in reference to.

You are the tears pouring down my cheeks

each still night without our bodies

telling stories.

You are the crows feet walking 

along my smiles and laughs

with inside jokes.

And you are the space between my fingers

and the tingle between my nose and mouth

when holding our gaze extremely close.

~Tina Meeks

A Texas Woman

 

Dating back to Eastern Texas in the 60's, 

mama and pop treated her well.

Belly out now,

White tank top,

light skin blending in.

Red heart-shaped glasses

fluctuating energy

within a confined open space.

Sharing pistachios with

a Chihuahua-Basenji.

Befriending all walks of life.

Openly dating and adventuring as it comes.

Taking the men as they are

and drawing a line where it makes sense.

Original hippie in modern millennial times.

Unapologetic- not even a question.

Regression upon piercing the threshold 

every weekend after a walk.

~Tian Meeks