I believe you will always be someone new,
you will always be you
simply by wherever you're taken
The calm after the storm
You are the aftermath
The avalanche
The evidence of a committed crime
You are the pupil of this world
The terrene I wish to be
A collaboration of sites worth reaching
and whatever precipice you're up against
has nothing on resiliency.
~Tina Meeks
Sometimes I think it makes more sense
to move backwards.
I don't know if that'd be slowing down
or just going elsewhere with
different motivation.
I'm motivated to go at my own pace
and pay attention to the framed nostalgia
that mattered enough to become outlined.
~Tina Meeks
**Isn't it such a good feeling to finish a notebook and move on to the next? A little cathartic but also a little sad to be leaving something behind? Well, I always save the last few pages of my notebooks to do a small self reflection on my journey through that book, and in a way, to thank the book for holding my thoughts and feelings. Sentimental value, so to speak. The following is an entry on the last 3 pages of a book I just finished. And now, on to the next...**
And to conclude this book...
This book was taken through a wild fluctuation of mental stability challenged times. Somewhat painstaking paradigm of mandated self-preservation in isolation.
I do feel that there has been growth through this book. It does hold unique feelings that may have been touched on in the past, but more in depth now. This book also holds events that took place and new arrivals to my life, like people.
Musical influences, places, words. While I refuse to allow a pandemic to rule a tone over my life, I do acknowledge that it has played a role on my mental state and the amount of friendly interactions I've been holding, as well as places I've been to more recently.
In order to maintain some level of sanity in a world that has shifted drastically and oddly, remaining calm, having light structure, and forgiveness of the self has helped a lot. I have found a new sense of community this time around, and I have, in a way, strengthened my poetic drive, at the same time as challenging it.
This has also been a time where I have accessed a side of myself that has seen little light before. Being mixed is something I've constantly been aware of but feel it differently now, and want to embrace it, rather than feel like I'm tolerating it. Happy to be everything that I am and want to share these things.
With that, thank you for holding onto my deepest thoughts and hidden aggressions, fears, and pleasures. Without you, I'd be close to nothing.
~Tina Meeks
