Before falling asleep I think about all
that I've done in the day
or
what the day has done with me, rather.
Hiding myself from you and running away,
whilst watching the empty streets and hoping
you'd appear.
I hide myself, yet beg for you silently.
Terrified that I never saw it coming before.
Denied it could ever be true.
You could actually tear me apart from the inside
if you wanted to.
Thus, the damage of this marathon run down heart
and evaporated motivation
but the moment you drape yourself
over me I drift into somewhere that has no structure
- some kind of dimension that exists
because you have gifted it to me.
And I love being here because things
happen as they want to without
initiation, like lightning.
If I have to go a single night
without you I think I'd fall apart even more.
I'd dig myself deeper into the crevices of the
creaky floorboards and stew in the wreckage.
At night when you're not there is a romanticized
particle of shuffling in the sheets,
pressing against the cold so, nothing can have my attention while restlessly
spacing out and dreading the seconds passing by without you
wishfully thinking that any moment now,
I close my eyes and you'd be right there.
~Tina Meeks