Lonely Attachment

 I still dream about you

We share intimacy, yet no emotional connection

We force actions over our words

while whispering sweet nothings with no depth

We are trying to make a pendulum in order

to take our chances and risk something with each other

I hardly know you and have no idea

why I'm trying so hard to fight for a feeling I'm only half invested in

Loneliness is hurting my insides and keeping a bad taste in my mouth

I have spun around in circles trying to understand what to do next

I think I like you?

 And trying not to be selfish or possessive and protect

 myself from unknown bodies of human affection

I enjoy being unreadable

Legible, I am not

Try me, don't judge me

 touch me, don't budge me

Be patient, don't rush me

I think we like holding each other at a healthy distance

While caressing the back of your hand

While stroking the inside of my thigh

Whisk me away,

sweep me off my feet,

and good luck.

~Tina Meeks

Marina Sunset

It's almost imagination that falls behind the sun

The space that doesn't seem to exist at all.

Whether it be the clouds or more mountains and hillside,

or maybe it's simply the other side of the sun.

There is nothing more bittersweet than the sun falling

behind the peaks of a distant ridge and witnessing

the break between night and day.

Like the shadows between you and I reveal themselves

in the moments the turmoil stiffens into tumultuous, sunburning 
and blinding of the darkness.

~Tina Meeks

You Can Read These Poems & Still Never Know Who I Am.

 "Pull me closer".

I'd breathe deep.

Pull her in.

Stroke the bare skin of her

hips and ease into an effortless

night dream

with tingling 

fingers and lingering 

inhalations that come a dime a dozen.

Not coming close to

equating to the same

in time grazing around.

~Tina Meeks

This Girl

 

I've been lifted and put onto a lily pad

Floating on the modest sea, and all I want to do is

dilly dally and pretend 

that I'm confident in this layer of skin but really,

I'm new here.

You're here.

We are virgins to the experience and it blurs before my eyes.

For the sea has taken us both, literally.

We are shipwrecked now to a place that never sinks

And a place that rarely anchors to the sandy bottom beneath.

She's got no anchor, she just gets sleepy.

She's whatever she needs to be for the time being.

She's a moment to fall for and harbor.

She will make you crave her here and now.

She knows how sexy it is when she floats and catches the waves.

This mermaid 

has a destiny of wanderlust and chemistry dreams.

Playing games with my recollections and wonderings,

and longings.

And all I wanted was the Evangelical details of her walls and laughs,

and the shapeshifting nature of her varying degrees.

~Tina Meeks

My Current State

 

Recently, I've been running away from my own feelings,

and afraid to sit with them. 

So, instead,

I taper and cater

the moments to something else.

Being in the moments feel wrong.

In which case, drifting back to what once was

makes sense to grasp how

I'm going to get to the next place.

I'm just lost.

Staring out into the darkness and chartreuse

of greenery to recap on how

I got all of these wilted leaves. 

I thought I was shaded from the things that once hurt me.

Turns out

now I'm jaded, started drinking again, 

and I'm still thirsty.

~Tina Meeks

Grieving You Again

 Spitefully repressing sad boy tendencies of a heartbreak

in a hotel.

Where'd you go?

Another Love, long lasting after I began to Fall Into You and your poetic currents,

waving me in.

Reluctantly, I followed, allowing myself to get whiplash with 

your Lightspeed changes in vocal fluctuations 

and confidential instrumentals during the Evening in Summer.

"You fucking got to be Kidding Me"

We were just about to Get Down with our backs Against the Bottom of the Bottle.

Fullest throttle, throwin' melodic Shreds, mixed into our own Scar Gardens.

Ima tell you, both my feet are Planted and hope that the fact that you Won't Answer, isn't Irreversible.

~Tina Meeks

On a Thoughtful Strand of Floss

 

I feel as though I am a delicate canvas that is easy to puncture.

I am nothing short of ambivalence and painted layers of conjuncture.

My passions try to trace themselves over on the paper before me,

yet the ink just bleeds

and it's up to my blurring vision to focus and rely on the competency of me.

With hiccup cries being held back behind the pillows of my bed at night 

and the light 

of a Himalayan salt lamp to illuminate me in the darkest moments that I dread to possess.

Within every word pressed

between these pages,
and micro confessions of the darkest sensations

and tendencies that have themselves standing up against me.

The only form of defense that is grappling, are the moments when I face it head on and

tolerate the discomfort of my demons until we are comfortable as friends and I can redeem.

And maybe we're all fearful of the same things

and have a hard time putting them into words that are lucid and self-reflective perfectly

enough to be unique to the self and mitigate through.

~Tina Meeks