Hover Near

I've been reflecting and marinating.

Whisper tones spoken to myself while eyes glisten.

Say nothing, because I'm never not listening.

Picture those broken before,

acknowledge,  

pay homage

with feet forward and every good intention.

Fellow poets,

I scribble trauma and drama

with pain and erase

outlines for few to follow

Don't tag along unless you wallow.

Tryna face my prose

while staring holes in my feet.

Attempting to keep what I've learned on lock.

I'm far from perfect with this dulled edge.

I'm quite reserved and maintain my morals at night

when I go to bed.

Just being real.

I'm not a liar, and fuck it,

by the minute, I'm shyer 

and tuck my tail in to preserve what the proof is.

I can't win for losing

'cuz by the time this hits the books,

you'll have to squint to see where the black and blue is.

In a slow cooker, faithfully stewin'

shenanigans and backwards pedaling.

Breaking free from old habits that trouble me.

As far as I'm concerned,

I'm just another form of self menacing and meddling,

and I've never touched down,

but ready to shake it up with more belt notches

 and break some ground.

~Tina Meeks

The Aftermath & Processing

Tingling on fingertips and sweaty palms.

My hands waiver beside me. 

Afraid to blink,

I know nothing else.

Walking through an unfamiliar strip of woods 

on the side of some road.

Maybe we're on the brink of being something else.

In the dirt is our shadows, yet I can't see myself.

Only spiderweb entanglement of what no one

around sees

- it's funny.

Standing there feeling the external protection 

of my brothers arms wrapped around me,

and scared to move my body away from any interior enemy

grasping at my nerves.

~ Tina Meeks

My Mind Wanders When We Aren't Speaking

 

There's no reason for us not to be

talking right now.

We're both protecting our pride that cannot sunburn.

This is the extent that I know about you.

And me... I don't like

to have my vulnerability exposed where a hole can be burned

into me from eye contact intensity.

The other day, while laying on the floor,

I wished you were there

pressed up against my back.

Burrowing your soul safely there

into the comfort of us.

Our caresses used to be 

tingly, heart-racing, attention grabbing, and sexy.

Now, where do we go with it?

Do you want me to lead you to the bed slowly,

while marinating in the moments guiding us

until my feet touch the bedframe?

We then tumble down like dancers and swirl

into closed eyelids and everything behind them?

Those moments, I could savor for forever

and capture as essential oils

for future reference to bathe in the build up.

I want to melt in your hands that are always warm

and have you

say and show me that you want

even a part of me that is as tucked away

as the space between my fingernails.

~Tina Meeks